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Epstein, Kiddies, And Trump. Oh, My

Andy Borowitz

8d

Everybody: the details in this episode are extremely hard to listen to. But I believe Katie Johnson's story and I felt that I had to share it. I usually try to keep things light, but sometimes another approach is called for. I hope you understand.
The KJ interview is very hard to listen to. So horrific.
I don't think this is a case you want to hang your hat on:

What We Know About Origins of Trump Child Rape Allegations
 
I hear some talking heads surmising that Trump knows he cannot prevent the release of the "Epstein files", but wants to prevent it all from coming out while he's President.
Does that make ANY sense? I mean, if you're Trump?
If there is incriminating stuff in there, or stuff that incriminates his donors, does it make sense for it to come out after his ability to pardon people (including himself) has expired, or should he want to clean it all up before he is forced to "return to civilian life"?
Of course if releasing The Files would exonerate him or even allow for a contorted argument for exoneration, he'd be up all night every night trying to get them released. I think we can safely ignore the possibility of Trump's innocence and lack of knowledge of others' misdeeds.
So... what is the rationale for slow-walking the Epstein issue? The Bondi "new investigation" ploy is likely to fail under public pressure, and is so transparent that it serves only to put an even more fishy smell on Trump's current behavior.
My explanation is too obvious, too hard to believe and too certainly correct to ignore (in my exalted opinion of course).

I think our Quiet Piggy is intrinsically incapable of recognizing effects beyond a certain temporal horizon, and that that horizon has shrunk dramatically over recent years. Yes, Stephen Miller is keeping him treading a fascist path, but there's nothing he can do to broaden Trump's awareness of anything that might occur past the end of this week.
I believe that the "week" horizon has been constricting since the 90's, when QP actually had plans. His plans always changed, he was always in hustle mode, but they were intended to provide for outcomes at least a few years hence. His nature has always been to scramble when shit gets real, and he's true to form now.
The fact that his scrambling is on display for all, including some of his MAGAts, to see, is a novel condition, but the essential fact that makes this whole interval seen surreal, is that QP is not aware of such things. His solution every time is to have something else to talk about. He's down to often ranting about things people said a few minutes ago. I expect that he will remain transfixed on whatever is in front of his nose, and will behave in an ever more unhinged manner. Could even get so bad that the GOP has to 86 him.

Only Santa Claus knows if this house of cards is going to collapse now (by end of 2026), or collapse later. If it collapses later, it becomes less likely that democracy will return to the USA in the lifetimes of anyone currently of adult age.

The next administration is going to have to raise taxes to pay for the damage Piggy has caused.
 
Andy Borowitz

8d

Everybody: the details in this episode are extremely hard to listen to. But I believe Katie Johnson's story and I felt that I had to share it. I usually try to keep things light, but sometimes another approach is called for. I hope you understand.
The KJ interview is very hard to listen to. So horrific.
I don't think this is a case you want to hang your hat on:

What We Know About Origins of Trump Child Rape Allegations
Your link is not particularly illuminating, nor is it meant to be.

What I will say is that if it were a single individual alleging sexual misconduct against any one individual, there is room for doubt. When it is more than 20 individuals, it is difficult to believe that everyone except the accused is lying. Particularly when the accused has a self-perpetuated image as someone who liked them ‘in the young side,’ has bragged about walking in on minor girls in a dressing room and made numerous other brags about grossly inappropriate behavior with girls and women. Add in a long and close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and all credibility of the accused evaporates to perhaps a faint bit of mist.
 
Andy Borowitz

8d

Everybody: the details in this episode are extremely hard to listen to. But I believe Katie Johnson's story and I felt that I had to share it. I usually try to keep things light, but sometimes another approach is called for. I hope you understand.
The KJ interview is very hard to listen to. So horrific.
I don't think this is a case you want to hang your hat on:

What We Know About Origins of Trump Child Rape Allegations
Your link is not particularly illuminating, nor is it meant to be.

What I will say is that if it were a single individual alleging sexual misconduct against any one individual, there is room for doubt. When it is more than 20 individuals, it is difficult to believe that everyone except the accused is lying. Particularly when the accused has a self-perpetuated image as someone who liked them ‘in the young side,’ has bragged about walking in on minor girls in a dressing room and made numerous other brags about grossly inappropriate behavior with girls and women. Add in a long and close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and all credibility of the accused evaporates to perhaps a faint bit of mist.
What it does tell me is that anyone pretending this doesn't matter, anyone pretending that Trump did not rape children, loses all right whatsoever to ever say "think about the children".
 
Xposting from the 2026 Midterm thread to forestall Jarhyn derailing it further:

The fact that you're deflecting from the massive piles of evidence is yet another piece of evidence that it is true.
If there were "massive piles of evidence", why was Trump never prosecuted for that, instead of for the hush money to Stormy Daniels?
 
Andy Borowitz

8d

Everybody: the details in this episode are extremely hard to listen to. But I believe Katie Johnson's story and I felt that I had to share it. I usually try to keep things light, but sometimes another approach is called for. I hope you understand.
The KJ interview is very hard to listen to. So horrific.
I don't think this is a case you want to hang your hat on:

What We Know About Origins of Trump Child Rape Allegations
Your link is not particularly illuminating, nor is it meant to be.

What I will say is that if it were a single individual alleging sexual misconduct against any one individual, there is room for doubt. When it is more than 20 individuals, it is difficult to believe that everyone except the accused is lying. Particularly when the accused has a self-perpetuated image as someone who liked them ‘in the young side,’ has bragged about walking in on minor girls in a dressing room and made numerous other brags about grossly inappropriate behavior with girls and women. Add in a long and close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and all credibility of the accused evaporates to perhaps a faint bit of mist.

I certainly would not have expected the Snopes article to persuade you in any way. After all, even when the alleged rape victim admits to having made it all up (not to mention lack of physical evidence and witness testimony), you will not believe it.

Crystal Mangum "rape"

I think it is very likely that she was actually raped, given the intoxication. I think it is even more likely that she does not entirely remember what happened due to the intoxication and mental illness.
I fully expect to be argued with about this, but I won’t participate. I’m right on this.

With regard to "liking them young", you may be thinking about Bill Clinton, no?

Court documents reveal names of powerful men allegedly linked to Jeffrey Epstein

One of the more notable names, former President Bill Clinton, is mentioned frequently in the documents.

They say that Clinton allegedly took a trip to Thailand with Epstein and include allegations from one witness who testified Epstein told her "Clinton likes them young, referring to girls."

As far as Trump bragging about walking in on minor girls in their dressing rooms, that was debunked a long time ago. Adults, yes. Minors, no. Still, is that sleazy and uncool? Certainly. But then again, in 2025 a man can freely walk in on naked women & girls in gym locker rooms, etc as long as he says he is a woman and the locker room women have to accept it. link We are changing laws to make it more permissible to behave sleazily like Trump! WTF?:shrug:

Did Trump Admit Going Into Changing Room of Beauty Pageant Contestants?

We looked closely at Trump's past comments, as well as real allegations made by former beauty pageant contestants from both Miss USA and Miss Teen USA competitions. Trump did indeed brag about walking in on contestants, but was referring to Miss USA or Miss Universe pageants, whose contestants are 18 or older. The above quote where he appeared to brag about walking in on Miss Teen USA contestants was misrepresenting a real comment he made to Stern.

As far as the 20 individuals you spoke of, are they adults or minors? Or both? It's well established that Trump is a sleazeball with adult women (I would not disagree about that), but this thread is about "kiddies". Has there been anything in any of the Epstein files about Trump engaging in pedophilia, as alleged by many? The Katie Johnson story is not one a skeptic-minded person would want to hang their hat on. What/where are some of the more compelling ones you could hang your hat on?
 
Andy Borowitz

8d

Everybody: the details in this episode are extremely hard to listen to. But I believe Katie Johnson's story and I felt that I had to share it. I usually try to keep things light, but sometimes another approach is called for. I hope you understand.
The KJ interview is very hard to listen to. So horrific.
I don't think this is a case you want to hang your hat on:

What We Know About Origins of Trump Child Rape Allegations
Your link is not particularly illuminating, nor is it meant to be.

What I will say is that if it were a single individual alleging sexual misconduct against any one individual, there is room for doubt. When it is more than 20 individuals, it is difficult to believe that everyone except the accused is lying. Particularly when the accused has a self-perpetuated image as someone who liked them ‘in the young side,’ has bragged about walking in on minor girls in a dressing room and made numerous other brags about grossly inappropriate behavior with girls and women. Add in a long and close relationship with Jeffrey Epstein and all credibility of the accused evaporates to perhaps a faint bit of mist.

I certainly would not have expected the Snopes article to persuade you in any way. After all, even when the alleged rape victim admits to having made it all up (not to mention lack of physical evidence and witness testimony), you will not believe it.

Crystal Mangum "rape"

I think it is very likely that she was actually raped, given the intoxication. I think it is even more likely that she does not entirely remember what happened due to the intoxication and mental illness.
I fully expect to be argued with about this, but I won’t participate. I’m right on this.

With regard to "liking them young", you may be thinking about Bill Clinton, no?

Court documents reveal names of powerful men allegedly linked to Jeffrey Epstein

One of the more notable names, former President Bill Clinton, is mentioned frequently in the documents.

They say that Clinton allegedly took a trip to Thailand with Epstein and include allegations from one witness who testified Epstein told her "Clinton likes them young, referring to girls."

As far as Trump bragging about walking in on minor girls in their dressing rooms, that was debunked a long time ago. Adults, yes. Minors, no. Still, is that sleazy and uncool? Certainly. But then again, in 2025 a man can freely walk in on naked women & girls in gym locker rooms, etc as long as he says he is a woman and the locker room women have to accept it. link We are changing laws to make it more permissible to behave sleazily like Trump! WTF?:shrug:

Did Trump Admit Going Into Changing Room of Beauty Pageant Contestants?

We looked closely at Trump's past comments, as well as real allegations made by former beauty pageant contestants from both Miss USA and Miss Teen USA competitions. Trump did indeed brag about walking in on contestants, but was referring to Miss USA or Miss Universe pageants, whose contestants are 18 or older. The above quote where he appeared to brag about walking in on Miss Teen USA contestants was misrepresenting a real comment he made to Stern.

As far as the 20 individuals you spoke of, are they adults or minors? Or both? It's well established that Trump is a sleazeball with adult women (I would not disagree about that), but this thread is about "kiddies". Has there been anything in any of the Epstein files about Trump engaging in pedophilia, as alleged by many? The Katie Johnson story is not one a skeptic-minded person would want to hang their hat on. What/where are some of the more compelling ones you could hang your hat on?
Trump is recorded very clearly stating that he liked them on the young side.

I don’t know if you are suffering under the illusion that I am a Bill Clinton fan but let me set the record straight: I am not. I did not vote for him in either election.
 
As far as Trump bragging about walking in on minor girls in their dressing rooms, that was debunked a long time ago. Adults, yes. Minors, no. Still, is that sleazy and uncool? Certainly. But then again, in 2025 a man can freely walk in on naked women & girls in gym locker rooms, etc as long as he says he is a woman and the locker room women have to accept it. link We are changing laws to make it more permissible to behave sleazily like Trump! WTF?:shrug:

Did Trump Admit Going Into Changing Room of Beauty Pageant Contestants?

Not according to your own link,

But some former Miss Teen USA pageant contestants have accused him of walking into their changing room. In a 2016 Buzzfeed News investigation, nearly half a dozen former contestants of Miss Teen USA claimed that Trump walked in on them changing — some of the girls in those rooms were reportedly 15 years old when it happened.

One incident reportedly occurred in the 1997 Miss Teen USA beauty pageant. Mariah Billado, the former Miss Vermont Teen USA, recalled, "I remember putting on my dress really quick because I was like, 'Oh my god, there's a man in here'." She then remembered Trump saying, "Don't worry, ladies, I've seen it all before." Four other women also alleged that Trump entered the dressing room; eleven contestants that Buzzfeed reached said they did not recall him in the dressing room.
 
As far as Trump bragging about walking in on minor girls in their dressing rooms, that was debunked a long time ago. Adults, yes. Minors, no. Still, is that sleazy and uncool? Certainly. But then again, in 2025 a man can freely walk in on naked women & girls in gym locker rooms, etc as long as he says he is a woman and the locker room women have to accept it. link We are changing laws to make it more permissible to behave sleazily like Trump! WTF?:shrug:

Did Trump Admit Going Into Changing Room of Beauty Pageant Contestants?

Not according to your own link,

But some former Miss Teen USA pageant contestants have accused him of walking into their changing room. In a 2016 Buzzfeed News investigation, nearly half a dozen former contestants of Miss Teen USA claimed that Trump walked in on them changing — some of the girls in those rooms were reportedly 15 years old when it happened.

One incident reportedly occurred in the 1997 Miss Teen USA beauty pageant. Mariah Billado, the former Miss Vermont Teen USA, recalled, "I remember putting on my dress really quick because I was like, 'Oh my god, there's a man in here'." She then remembered Trump saying, "Don't worry, ladies, I've seen it all before." Four other women also alleged that Trump entered the dressing room; eleven contestants that Buzzfeed reached said they did not recall him in the dressing room.
All I see is
“He’s a scumbag”
“Yabut not as big a scumbag as mean people say”

Both can be true, but so what? I certainly don’t ever wish to become an expert at grading scumbagginess, or to interact with anyone who is one.
Men who grab women without their active consent are scumbags. Maybe the ones who brag about it are greater or lesser scumbags, but why does that matter?
The blatant fact that Trump is a scumbag was a selling point for him that he successfully leaned into. That doesn’t speak to any nuanced assessment of Trump, it speaks to the tragic fact that Americans - especially American men - are perfectly comfortable with scumbags in leadership positions.
 
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